Colin Farrell & Andy Serkis are joining The Batman for some reason

Whether Jonah Hill was meant to play the Riddler or Penguin in The Batman, we now know his next logical replacement for the latter role: Colin Farrell?

Deadline reports that the The Lobster star is now in talks with Warner Bros. to play a different animal-man as the Penguin of the latest disconnected chapter of Batman’s saga. Farrell has rightly been labeled as a character actor cursed with leading-man good looks, so should the production go the John Leguizamo in Spawn route, this could really work out. But, if we’re being honest, it will probably take the easy path I did—lazily slapping a monocle and cigarette holder on a slightly pudgy Farrell—so whatever.

If negotiations work out, Farrell would join an already-crowded rogues gallery that includes Zoë Kravitz’s Catwoman and Paul Dano’s Riddler. And he’d also apparently join Andy Serkis, because The Wrap is reporting that the living motion-capture suit is in talks to play a woefully miscast Alfred in this thing. Unless now the butler is just a simian in a tuxedo, which… isn’t the worst idea.

Please help these sad nobodies and: