Writer: “So, the idea is, what if Will Smith was a James Bond type whose ‘Q’ was just a young nerd working out of his tiny apartment?”
Executive: [smiling] “Right, right… and then Will Smith would turn into a bird?”
W: “No, in this scenario, no one would become a bird. But Will’s character, a cool secret agent, could fly around around in a high-tech winged suit designed by his dorky friend and—”
E: “Eventually become a literal bird with Will Smith’s brain inside it?”
W: “That… that seems like might be confusing layered upon what’s already a pretty high-concept premise.”
Executive 2 enters
Executive 2: “Sorry, what did I miss?”
W: “I was just explaining how Will Smith—”
FE2: “Just cut to the avian hijinks. Star at the point a horrific, Cronenbergian experiment has transformed man to bird.”
W: “No, no, this movie is called Spies in Disguise.”
FE2: “Annnnd is man’s ultimate disguise not the humble pigeon?”
Outside the window, a Fox executive that’s been turned into a pigeon takes flight, returning the pitch to his studio.
Executive 3 enters.
Executive 3: “Hey, is this one about a super-spy and a young gadget-maker and also it’s The Incredible Mr. Limpet with birds?”