It’s Jason Statham versus an absurdly large shark in The Meg trailer

In development in some form or another for at least a dozen years now, The Meg has had a long journey in bringing audiences a ridiculously huge fish that tries to eat Jason Statham. But like the ludicrously large prehistoric shark, man is patient, and persistent. Once the scent of another modestly successful Statham vehicle was in the water, there was no stopping until biting a $150 million chunk out of some idiot producer’s pocket. And this summer, at last the waters will be bloodied with scarcely acted lines like, “My god… it’s Megalodon.”

The latest consistently arbitrary addition to director Jon Turteltaub’s résumé, the film sees Statham, Li Bingbing, Rainn Wilson, Ruby Rose, Winston Chao, and Cliff Curtis on some sort of undersea vessel that encounters a stupidly gargantuan shark. After spending millennia hidden deep below the ocean, the cartilaginous bastard’s discovery seemingly drives it to start attacking people—even taking a cue from Jaws to ravage some tourist-filled beachside shallows, bottoming-out be damned. (Winds are fortunately not strong enough to pull the Megalodon into a big-ass Sharknado.)

Will Jason Statham get eaten, then punch his way out of the shark from the inside and, pandering to the film’s obviously intended Chinese market, proclaim that they must eat the fin to gain its magical healing powers? Probably. We won’t know for sure until The Meg hits theaters August 10.

  • adam3w

    Shut up, Meg.

  • Brian Shinn

    I was waiting for the black guy to say “There’s sharks out there this big!?!” (ala Ice Cube, Anaconda)

    • Not LL Cool J in Deep Blue Sea?

      • Brian Shinn
        • No, but Anaconda is legitimately such a wonderfully horrible film. Jon Voight is at his absolute worst, and this is from someone who’s seen his MULTIPLE Baby Geniuses works.

          • HalSolo

            It really is up there with SPECIES for a surprisingly overqualified cast for its premise…

          • deucepickle

            Jon Voight at his worst and most hilarious. God, it makes me want to watch that shitty movie again.

          • Such an awful jambalaya of Cajun, Scarface, and Marlon Brando.

          • deucepickle

            I can still hear him call Kari Wuhrer “baby bird” and how ridiculous he says it.

          • As bad as Baby Geniuses 2 was, there were these straight-to-video spin-offs that are some next-level Jon Voight shit where he plays multiple personas, which of course comes with more unbelievable accents. I’m can’t even ironically recommend them, but I want to put it on the record that Anaconda is not an outlier.

            https://gfycat.com/ValidLimpCrossbill

      • You and Hal share the same mind. Haha

        • HalSolo

          I guess I’m happy millenials will get their Anaconda/Deep Blue Sea/Deep Rising style fix. Although between this and Rampge, WB sure is betting big on giant monsters…

          • Have you even seen Pacific Rim 2? There is no higher form of art.

          • HalSolo

            To my shame, I have not… YET. Hoping to rectify that over its all important 4th weekend before it slinks out of theaters. But as a fan of both EVANGELION and Charlie Day, truly there is no higher form of cinematic excellence awaiting me.

          • Kevin Knipstein

            I’ve seen Deep Rising so many times. Recently.

    • HalSolo

      I was waiting for Page Kennedy to quote LL COOL J from DEEP BLUE SEA… “I hate to interrupt this moment of burgeoning intimacy but can we get the fuck out of here?”

  • HalSolo

    Hot damn, Statham is NOT your father’s Jonas Taylor! Ugh, fuck, did I just out myself as someone who’s read at least three of those books…

    • I’ve already outed myself as someone who’s wasted their time writing entertainment news so long that I posted Meg concept art this time 2006.

      • HalSolo

        Ah jeez I was probably commenting on it too! I hope that shot of the shark in the wave eating the surfer whole makes it into this cut…

        • The birth of Triplets will be enough for my retirement.

          • HalSolo

            If we actually get BILL AND TED 3, I will probably just take the cyanide as the credits roll, cuz brother, I’ll have seen everything.