Kevin Smith is still making another goddamn Clerks

Kevin Smith’s latest intolerably wide-eyed, puckered Instagram selfie comes with a warning: he’s seriously making another Clerks sequel.

As the first person hitting 50 and still thinking their best shit was done when they were a 23-year-old service worker writing about their own life, Smith has long been fixated on for some reason continuing his so-called “View Askewniverse”—the lazy, Jersey-set cinematic world where Smith divides his persona into this one obnoxious guy who usually has a goatee, this other white guy who’s even more of an opinionated shit-head, and a poor man’s Greek chorus of two bros who smoke weed. He already claimed he started writing Clerks 3 at 4:20 (hilarious!) back in 2013, and threatened it at least the year prior.

But now, thanks to reconnecting with original Clerks star Jeff Anderson, he’s apparently re-starting the entire campaign. He’s beginning a new script—at hopefully an equally hilarious time!—and again trying to conclude what he acts like was always meant to be this trilogy filled with in no way notable characters.

Here’s his own statement on it:

View this post on Instagram

3 CLERKS! Thanks to the good folks at @zscentertainment and @leeloomultiprops, I got to see Randal! #JeffAnderson, @jaymewes, and I spent Saturday signing stuff and catching up, seeing so much movie merch that’s been made over the last 25 years (hit the Leloo site for sweet signed skateboards)! But even better than that? We talked about making a movie together. It’ll be a movie that concludes a saga. It’ll be a movie about how you’re never too old to completely change your life. It’ll be a movie about how a decades-spanning friendship finally confronts the future. It’ll be a movie that brings us back to the beginning – a return to the cradle of civilization in the great state of #newjersey. It’ll be a movie that stars Jeff and @briancohalloran, with me and Jay in supporting roles. And it’ll be a movie called CLERKS III! To be great is to go on. To go on is to go far. To go far is to return. And we’re all gonna return to the scene of the crime! This won’t be the old script we almost made a few years back: this is a completely new screenplay that I just started writing last night! And so far, it’s like a dream come true! After mending fences with @benaffleck earlier this year, I was hoping for a chance to do the same with Jeff – so huge thanks to Leeloo Multiprops for getting us all in the same room. But the biggest thanks ever go to Jeff, for being receptive to the idea at all. This means I’m gonna get to play with my two favorite inaction figures again: Dante & Randal! Two weeks from the debut of @jayandsilentbob Reboot (on @fathomevents screens 10/15 & 10/17, link in my bio), I’m ecstatic to announce our imminent return to Quick Stop! So I assure you: we’re open! #KevinSmith #clerks3 #jaymewes #jayandsilentbob #danteandrandal #quickstop #leeloomultiprops #indiefilm #clerks

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We can only hope the finished film will be so needlessly verbose and completely masturbatory.

Please help these sad nobodies and: