Netflix claims big viewer numbers for latest Adam Sandler thing you’ll never hear about again

Netflix has just announced some big viewer numbers for Murder Mystery, their latest Adam Sandler vehicle that will again leave absolutely no semblance of a cultural footprint.

“30,869,863 accounts watched Murder Mystery in its first 3 days – the biggest opening weekend ever for a Netflix Film,” the company tweeted about their apparently massive hit that absolutely no one will ever reference.

As film historian Peter Labuza was quick to note, if these numbers are correct, it would mean that more than 10 million more homes sat through Sandler’s follow-up to Sandy Wexler The Week Of(?) last weekend than watched the Game of Thrones finale. Compared to theatrical releases, its viewership would give it the third largest opening of the year after Marvel’s films. And yet there’s not a water cooler on Earth discussing the big twist at the end of Murder Mystery.

But just as there’s no evidence that any human being would ever revisit this comedy, even just mentally, there’s no actual evidence Netflix’s stats are accurate. Though the company stands by them, telling Variety the views are both accurate and only counted if at least 70% of the content is played, no outside body has nor can verify the numbers. We’ll just have to trust Netflix’s claim that this was the year’s biggest film we will never acknowledge again.

Please help these sad nobodies and: