Mortdecai only came out two years ago, but it seems a tireless Johnny Depp has already managed to give us an even less tolerable investigator with even worse facial hair. See for yourself with the trailer for Sherlock Gnomes, the Gnomeo & Juliet based on literally the second “gnome” pun someone thought of. Depp voices the title role, with James McAvoy and Emily Blunt reprising their parts as the formerly titular stars. Chiwetel Ejiofor, Stephen Merchant, Mary J. Blige, and esteemed Oscar winners Maggie Smith and Michael Caine also somehow got roped into this thing. Maybe it was thanks to series producer Elton John, who’s once again lent his songs to this feature-length Travelocity commercial of a franchise. It certainly wasn’t for the script: in this preview alone, there’s a fart joke and no less than three butt-shake gags in just this two-and-a-half-minute preview alone. Also, one of the gnomes wears that Borat mankini, because kids will enjoy both that reference and the sight of a white-bearded man’s bare ass, its cheeked ruddy from his own spanking.
You can subject your children to all this starting March 23.