Well, Disney made a Nutcracker movie, and here it is

Based on a public domain property; boasting the soullessly whimsical visuals of The Golden Compass and Alice in Wonderland; and scored with a sparse, melancholy cover of a pop hit (No Doubt’s “Just a Girl”), this Nutcracker and the Four Realms trailer plays like a greatest hits of 2007-2017. That may in part be because the film has been manufactured by committee, and delayed as a result: Lasse Hallström finished shooting back in January 2017, with Joe Johnston taking over to shoot more than a month of re-writes nearly a year later. It’s now still not scheduled to hit theaters until the end of the year—though its subtitle hints at a misplaced optimism that this will spawn a whole Nutcracker universe.

Anyway, Mackenzie Foy stars as a girl in search of a key or something in a magical, familiar, exceedingly-manufactured world of toy soldiers and obvious wigs. Co-starring, we have Morgan Freeman as Steampunk Frederick Douglass, Keira Knightley as Forgotten Winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Helen Mirren as Charlotte Rae’s Vengeful Corpse, Richard E. Grant as Dandy Who Found Martin Short’s The Santa Clause 3 Costume in a Dumpster, and Eugenio Derbez as We Actually Wanted ’90s Nathan Lane. (Note: TV-VCR did not research the actual names of these characters.)

You can find out how much money Disney loses on this when it hits theaters November 2.

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