Animorphs is turning into a movie

The weird-ass ’90s fantasy of children mutating into animals is headed to the screen in its most grotesquely real form yet.

Already adapted into a low-budget TV series, the Scholastic book series Animorphs is now getting the feature film treatment. Modern computer technology will grant us the photorealistic boy that squats until he is a spider. We will finally see the torture in a girl’s eyes as her head is contorted into that of a rat. This dude will become a gecko or something. What a time to be alive.

Please help these sad nobodies and: