Will Rey shift to the Dark Side? Is Kylo Ren going to guide her, or is he going to press the button that kills his mom? Are we charmed by this cute, screaming little “porg” guy or what? And how hard is it to look at this wild-eyed, scraggly Luke and not think of It’s Always Sunny‘s Rickety Cricket? These are all questions the new Star Wars: The Last Jedi asks, but thanks to some clever intercutting and dialogue that’s kept just vague enough, it never quite answers them. If we’re going to find out why, say, Snoke thinks he can pull off this shiny, gold robe, we’re just going to have wait for December 15. That’s when Episode VIII hits theaters. Tickets are on sale now, nerds.
