Harrison Ford to next injure himself in Captain America: New World Order

Harrison Ford has revealed just how he’ll next risk his 80-year-old body in the name of a soulless Disney franchise exercise!

Fresh off shooting a goddamn fifth Indiana Jones movie, the Star Wars: The Force Awakens star is now set to join and inevitably break something in Marvel’s fourth Captain America movie. He’ll reportedly play “Thunderbolt” Ross, the role previously inhabited by the late William Hurt—a man nearly a decade his junior. Should he not be irrevocably injured or killed shooting Captain America: New World Order, he’s meant to reprise the role in fellow 2024 release Thunderbolts.

Once filming on these big-budget tentpole films is complete, Ford is expected to return to the work he does for the joy of the craft: crashing airplanes.

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