Jessica Chastain leads an all-star team of secret agents in Simon Kinberg’s crummy The 355 trailer

X-Men: Dark Phoenix writer-director Simon Kinberg is back with some new tired dreck! Have a look with this first trailer for the spy thriller The 355.

The film’s dreadfully hackneyed plot sees CIA wildcard Jessica Chastain assemble an international team of secret agents to retrieve a stolen, top secret weapon. It also sees Kinberg and co-writer Theresa Rebeck assemble some of the crappiest, most clichéd spy thriller dialogue ever put together on screen.

CIA director: “Officially, I can’t put you on this. But if you were to go out on your own…”

“I would need some help,” Chastain coolly replies before heading off to fetch Lupita Nyong’o.

“I’m guessing this isn’t a social call.”

“I’m putting together a team, and you’re the best in the world at what you do.”

It’s just line after line of overworked mush, as force fed by too-good-for-this stars Chastain (US!), Nyong’o (UK!), Diane Kruger (Germany!), Penélope Cruz (Colombia!), and Fan Bingbing (China, and seemingly just in enough scenes to sell this trash in her homeland). Marion Cotillard was originally set to play the Kruger part as France, but she was smart enough to get out of this thing. It ostensibly hits theaters January 15.

Please help these sad nobodies and: