Jim Gaffigan is Mr. Smee to Jude Law’s Captain Hook

Hollywood only ever has about four chubby guys working at any given point, and, naturally, one has been selected to play Mr. Smee in the next live-action Peter Pan movie.

In sad news for Josh Gad, Jim Gaffigan has reportedly been cast in the role in David Lowery’s Peter Pan & Wendy. He’ll play opposite Jude Law as the submissive bottom who will say “Captain Hook” in the cadence of “Hot Pockets.”

Please help these sad nobodies and: