Honest Thief is the latest of innumerable post-Taken thrillers to give Liam Neeson a semblance of a script to bark his way through in his thinly-veiled Irish accent. This one sees the star of Schindler’s List as a robber who’s gotten away with taking a dozen banks for over $9 million. He’s also recently met a woman (Kate Walsh) he wants to spend the rest of his life with without lying about his past.
There are numerous ways Honest Thief could go about this. He could easily just be like, look, Grey’s Anatomy, I used to rob banks, but I’ve given that up for you, and now we can retire blissfully on this $9 million of federally insured cash; or if you’re really opposed to it, I can Bitcoin it back to them or whatever. Instead, Honest Thief rings the FBI and is like, “Hey, will you give me a reduced prison sentence if I turn myself in and give back all the money?” The guy is such a chump. Don’t clog up the prison system with Honest Thieves when it’s already overcrowded with sinister Dishonest Thieves, man.
When he tries to turn over the cash, the pair of G-men sent over to recover it decide to just take it for themselves and frame Honest Thief, setting off a chain of events that looks very similar to 80% of the movies he’s made in the last decade.
Honest Thief will supposedly hit theaters October 9, which seems dubious for at least two reasons.
