Liam Neeson To Drive Plow, Battle Coastal Elite Eco-Viking, in ‘Hard Powder’

“Mr. Plow is coming for you. That name again is Mr. Plow.”

Though Liam Neeson just appeared in a well-regarded children’s fantasy film as well as a Martin Scorsese drama, it seems neither are slowing his swan-dive into the sludge of B-movie action. The Oscar-nominated actor has reportedly signed on to star in Hard Powder, a revenge thriller with a plot that sounds even more like straight-to-video Steven Seagal than its title implies.

Neeson will plays Nels, a man named “Citizen of the Year” by the folks in the “glitzy” Colorado ski town where he drives the snow plow (for reasons sure to be explored in numerous, plow-heavy action set-pieces). Like an ever-climbing number of protagonists that look like Liam Neeson, Nels is also soon out for vengeance when his progeny gets in trouble with organized crime.

Nels—who may have the first memorable Neeson character name since Schindler—is after a drug cartel that murdered his son. More specifically, he’s after “The Viking,” described as “a fastidious gangster who wears Tom Ford suits, is a vegan, drives a Tesla and murders people.” On his way to accomplishing that task, it’s said he’ll spark a turf war between The Viking and “a Native American mafia boss.”

In summary, a Mafioso version of one who first inhabited America will battle a coastal elite parody of one who first discovered America, who will battle a blue-collar Irish immigrant living in a wealthy town. There must be some sort of statement about the United States buried in that muddled mound of race/class archetypes, but if there is, someone is going to have to dig it out for us. Someone with a plow…

Please help these sad nobodies and: