Marvel Introduces Quiet Leather Daddy, Wig Lady, and Their Giant Dog in First ‘Inhumans’ Trailer

Once in development as a feature film property, Marvel’s Inhumans is now headed to ABC as a weekly series. With its just-released first trailer, now we see why the switch was made. Marvel apparently wants this thing to look really, really cheap.

The series stars Hell on Wheels‘ Anson Mount as Black Bolt, king of a super-powered royal family that makes it home on the dark side of the moon. It’s a pretty easy role in terms of line memorization: Black Bolt never speaks, as his voice sends powerful shockwaves at anything in its path. Ramsay Bolton from Game of Thrones stages some kind of coup against his king, and somehow that leads to Lockjaw, the Inhumans’ giant dog, teleporting Black Bolt away from his brutalist palace and onto the streets of Honolulu. The pilot was filmed in IMAX and will premiere in IMAX theaters on September 1 before airing on ABC September 29. So they could at least fix the ridiculous punching sound effects before then, right?

Please help these sad nobodies and: