Masters of the Universe has a new, even more generic He-Man

Stock photography He-Man liplessly smiles(?).

For nearly 20 years now, Masters of the Universe has been stricken with a curse of “almost making it but not actually making it”—both for the production and its revolving door of stars. There’s been talk of making a new He-Man movie since the early ‘00s, and it hasn’t happened. And while the likes of Kellan Lutz and Noah Centineo have been attached to star, both actors are now unattached and more likely to follow Taylor Lautner in being a muscly boy shoved down our throats and just as quickly spewed out. (While Lutz is already gutter puke, Centineo will be crammed into Black Adam and Netflix’s Gamestop stock movie before we barf him out of our system.) Another now joins their inevitably-heaved ranks.

Sony has reportedly set Kyle Allen to star as Prince Adam, aka He-Man, in the latest Masters of the Universe project that Aaron and Adam Nee are guiding into development hell. Aptly, Allen is being touted as “one of the Jets in Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story.” His name and face are indeed such generic ciphers, it is indeed perfect he’s being referenced only as “one of those guys in a thing.” But will he be the one to finally ascend to being “that guy from Masters of the Universe?” By the power of Greyskull, probably not.

Please help these sad nobodies and: