Netflix announces billionth Resident Evil iteration

Already spanning numerous games, live-action films, animated films, comic books, apparently a theme restaurant and more, Resident Evil will now be a streaming series. Netflix has reportedly ordered an eight-episode season based on this Star Wars of stretched-thin video game franchise. Supernatural co-showrunner Andrew Dabb is heading up this latest take, which will take place across two timelines. The first sees 14-year-old sisters Jade and Billie Wesker newly moved to the corporate town of New Raccoon City, where they come to find that their father and the town may be concealing ominous secrets. The second follows Jade 16 years into the future, when the T-virus has left Earth with only 15 million people and six billion monsters. Jade will, presumably, run around spooky areas shooting these monsters.

Please help these sad nobodies and: