The Rock Heaves a Torpedo at the New ‘Fate of the Furious’ Trailer

Universal Pictures has just released a new trailer for Fate of the Furious—the only thing truly moving America in the right direction, which is the direction that sends Vin Diesel hurtling over a submarine.

Like all the hulking bald men within, this new preview has a lot over visual overlap with the old one. But it also has a lot in common with those scare-pieces about how hackers are going to get into your car’s computer. That’s exactly what new villain Charlize Theron does here, taking remote control of most of the cars in Manhattan and sending them crashing after our heroic street-racers-turned-special-ops-force(?). More worrisomely, computer-aided cars aren’t even the only vaguely intelligent masses Theron has power over: she’s got Vin Diesel, too!

Also: The Rock is driving across a frozen lake in this awesome vehicle that’s, like, a pickup truck fitted with snowmobile treads, right? So he’s surrounded by all these other dudes in cool vehicles, plus there’s a nuclear submarine under the ice that’s firing torpedoes at him. One of these torpedoes pops out of the ice, so he has Tyrese take the wheel, and hops out ONTO the ice, and he’s sliding along holding onto the door of the truck, and grabs this torpedo with one of his comically large arms, and he shoves it at this truck that’s got, like, surface-to-air missiles on the back, so of course it’s this HUGE explosion when the torpedo nails that thing. And then Tyrese shouts, “This is crazy!” Because it is. It’s super crazy.

Please help these sad nobodies and: