Shyamalan takes us to the rapid-aging beach (and his usual BS) in the Old teaser

This first teaser for Old makes it seem M. Night Shyamalan is back to his dumb old basics. Newsweek’s 2002 “Next Spielberg” winner’s follow-up to the quite stupid Glass sees the writer-director back in the familiar territory of wringing everything he can out of a high-concept thriller premise before inevitably snapping it with a final twist.

This time, we’ve got Gael García Bernal and Vicky Krieps as parents taking their family to a remote tropical beach. Turns out, they should have just made it a day trip to the Rockaways, because this beach is strange. Their boy was six years old when they got there, and within hours, he’s aged into being re-cast with Alex Wolff. Weird, right!? Definitely something fishy going on.

Anyway, given how the girl gets inexplicably pregnant and Rufus Sewell gets inexplicably covered in burns, it seems like whatever was going to happen to their bodies in the normal world is now happening in fast-forward… on a beach. Why that is will surely be laughably infuriating. We’ll find out in July.

Please help these sad nobodies and: