The Fast Saga’s F9 trailer is just about perfectly dumb

Four years to the day since the modestly disappointing Fate of the Furious hit theaters, a new and improved F9 trailer is here to show us that director Justin Lin appears to have corrected course.

This is just about a perfect trailer for this dumb thing. Like the first trailer, it opens on this hilariously idiotic sub-platitude from Vin Diesel. Then Tyrese hangs a lampshade on how completely over-the-top stupid the escalating action has been heading before we see that they’re (of course) going to continue steering straight into that.

The almost explicitly dead Han is back! Just about everyone else is also back! Helen Mirren is even back! Yes, Dwayne Johnson is gone, but John Cena has stuffed himself into that absurdly muscular franchise hole! (Also, he’s playing Vin Diesel’s brother, so we can explore the idea of family as something outside of whom one drinks Coronas with at a barbecue.) There are extremely powerful magnets now! Half the vehicles in this look like made-up G.I. Joe shit! It’s just outrageous, and thank god for it.

Let’s hope theaters are operating safely this summer so we can absolutely lose our minds over this June 25.

Please help these sad nobodies and: