THE SNYDER CUT finally gets release date, $137 multi-course dinner add-on

At a cost of only $70+ million and four hours of personal time, Zack Snyder’s Justice League is finally going to hit the screen on March 18. Snyder announced as much today in a series of tweets reading “Fallen,” “Risen,” and “Reborn.” The third came with this hilariously self-serious graphic:

But how to sustain oneself through a solid four-hour block of melodramatic superhero nonsense? With this officially licensed Mother Box meal kit!

For a mere $137, you and whoever else you’re subjecting to this grim, roughly 240-minute experience can dine on DC-themed “innovative restaurant quality food and drink” you will nonetheless have to prepare yourself. Courses include Icelandic cod that you could imagine Aquaman swam with before you ate it, and more esoteric items like the “Big Belly Burger” and “Koul Brau Beer”—both of which show up in the broader DC Comics universe but aren’t particularly relevant to Justice League: Director’s Cut. (Not all the courses have been revealed, so perhaps the innovation is still to come.)

A vegetarian option is also available at the additional cost of having to make up some other weird fantasy about how Aquaman was involved with it.

Please help these sad nobodies and: