What happens when you feed Tom Hardy a tar-like alien with a beautiful baritone of an inner monologue? Have a look with this first full trailer for Venom, Sony’s misguided attempt at stretching out their Spider-Man universe while only minimally including Spider-Man himself (Tom Holland’s Peter Parker is expected to appear in only a cameo). Tom Hardy stars as Eddie Brock, an incredibly nitwit-voiced reporter (what does Hardy think he’s doing with that New York accent?) who ends up sharing his body with a “symbiote” that merges with him, creating a haunting, stygian creature full of teeth and a wanton desire to French kiss. Of course, from the looks of it, we’ll only be seeing that creature in a few shots at the climax of this thing, but we’ll find for sure when Venom hits theaters October 5.