Universally acknowledged as terrible yet still finding their way into theaters every so often, Lifetime Original Movie-style thrillers are the bedbugs of film. We think we’re past their threat enough that Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig, and James Franco can mock their existence, only to see Obsession or The Boy Next Door skittering around a cinema like they belong there.
The latest pest to find its way into theaters arrived, terribly unwanted, on the cocktail dresses of Rosario Dawson and Katherine Heigl. They’re the stars of Unforgettable, a film so crawling with Lifetime tropes that it would be easier to move than try fumigating this crap.
Typically, Dawson and Heigl are fighting for the love of some blandly handsome dope you just assume emerged from a soap opera set. Heigl is the ex and mother of this dude’s children. She is also a psychopath, who finds this guy you would never be able to pick out of a lineup to be UNFORGETTABLE. Dawson is this wildly forgettable turd’s new partner. She of course gets victimized by the bat-shit insane Heigl, as well as the bat-shit insane script. This is remarkably unaware self-parody at its finest. Let it crawl on you in a theater April 21.