Valley Girl has a trailer but no Nicolas Cage

Valley Girl has a lot going against it. It’s a remake of a Nicolas Cage movie in which he inexplicably says this. It features Logan Paul. It’s a musical now. It’s a loose ’80s take on Romeo & Juliet framed as a high school recollection of Alicia Silverstone, when we all know that Silverstone is more age appropriate for a loose ’90s take on Emma.

It’s unclear what it has going for it, but anyway, it’s available on-demand May 8.

Please help these sad nobodies and: