Weekend Box Office Ruled by Infant Alec Baldwin

It came promising an employed adult that was somehow, at the same time, a cherubic newborn. And lo, the people did pay as much as $20 a piece for that. Because they wanted to see it in 3D.

At the box office over the weekend, the high-chair of The Boss Baby sat proudly atop all those inferior films that did not include a talking baby able to fire its underlings. DreamWorks Animation’s incredibly high-concept film opened with an unexpected $49 million three-day total. It was just narrowly enough to take out the two-week reigning champ, Beauty and the Beast, which slipped to second with $47.5 million. Ghost in the Shell, meanwhile, missed even its lowest estimates. The sci-fi remake, budgeted at over $100 million, debuted in third place with just $19 million. So ends man’s experiment in giving Scarlett Johansson a deadly, cybernetic body. But so begins the new frontier of seeing how many more times we can give Alec Baldwin a CGI baby body. Ha ha, he’s wearing a suit!

Please help these sad nobodies and: