Weekend Box Office: There’s Still Some Treasure Left in Johnny Depp’s Little Boat Ride

Over the Memorial Day weekend, there was a clear winner in the box office fight for maritime supremacy. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales easily debuted in the top spot, while Baywatch opened in third, deservedly failing to match the fourth weekend out for Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2. But while Pirates clearly had the better outcome, neither new release met studio expectations. Baywatch made only $23 million over the four-day break, and Depp Ahoy! came in with just over $77 million—much less than the prior sequel’s three-day take. Not that it particularly matters: both are expected to make most of their money back in international waters, where Depp’s mascara has already plumed out to the tune of another $208 million.

Please help these sad nobodies and: