Everyone’s a baddie in the new Rise of Skywalker teaser

C-3PO has glowing red eyes. Rey has a dark hood and a Darth Maul-style lightsaber that’s been dubiously improved with a center hinge, so she can easier fit it into her luggage. Have all the heroes gone dark in the new Star Wars, The Rise of Skywalker?

Probably not, but judge for yourself with this new teaser for Episode IX, the film that will finally catch the franchise up with Fast & Furious in terms number, existing outside the known galaxy, and having definitely dead characters abruptly return.

Please help these sad nobodies and: