It was in 2018 that we first got a teaser for the dumb Men in Black-meets-Harry Potter fan fiction of Kenneth Branagh’s adaptation of Artemis Fowl. Now, two calendar years later, we finally have another—a full-length trailer that reveals how additional post-production couldn’t save this from looking dumb as hell.
The film is apparently about this precocious little turd in a suit who discovers that Josh Gad has been cosplaying Hagrid for some reason. The kid also problematically has a black servant he forces to wear blue contacts and dye his hair white. And there’s an elf who looks like Link as a rebooted Power Ranger? And a goblin that blows fire out its nose? Again, it’s super dumb. It needs to be thrown away, but instead it will finally hit theaters May 29.
