Gerard Butler’s Plane is getting a sequel—and it’s called SHIP

“Are you for real right now? That’s the title?”

Because, at this point, satire has for years been indistinguishable from reality, here’s some actual news for you that we swear is not a bit: but a single month out from its release, the Gerard Butler action-thriller Plane is getting a sequel. Its title? SHIP.

As if it’s not already funny enough that we keep letting Gerard Butler be in theatrical action-thrillers, and as if one of those action-thrillers being called PLANE wasn’t the coup de grâce of his bizarrely-continuing career. Yes, despite all that, we are also making a Plane sequel, and it is called Ship. You can’t argue that a ship isn’t also a passenger vessel, so that’s checkmate Butler, huh?

Except it isn’t even that!

Turns out, Butler isn’t signed on for this thing. It’s said the sequel will instead focus on Mike Colter’s Louis Gaspare—our favorite!—“with the legionnaire disappearing into the jungles of Jolo Island” before, evidently, boarding a SHIP.

So look to the skies and then down to the depths of the sea, Plane fans, because it’s time to find out: could there be a switch-the-lead-and-the-vehicle-to-a-boat sequel be worse than Speed 2: Cruise Control?

Please help these sad nobodies and: