From the director of Paul Blart 2, The Game Plan, Parental Guidance, and Race to Witch Mountain, here is somehow yet another broad comedy this guy’s made about a blue-collar profession, a former wrestler, and the central premise of suddenly being burdened with children. And even in that context, it looks impressively awful.
As seen in this trailer, Playing with Fire sees John Cena leading a team of “smokejumpers,” the first responders to wilderness fires (that they’s so remote provides a handy excuse for why this thing is seemingly shot all on a single set). When a mission sees them rescue a teenage girl (Brianna Hildebrand) and her young siblings, and with their parents absent but not incinerated for reasons unexplained, it’s up to Fire-Cena, Keegan-Michael Key, John Leguizamo, and Tyler Mane (here seemingly the new Richard Moll) to take care of them.
The Pacifier, Kindergarten Cop, and who knows how many other comedies have already dealt with the big joke of a burly man’s-man being saddled with a nanny job; compared against everything featured here, they now look like high art.
With the kind of production values, over-the-top performances, and gags normally relegated to straight-to-video kiddie flicks that involve dog-nappings, Playing with Fire looks like a spectacular mess for a theatrical family film. The strained jokes range from cartoon mimicry (child riding an out-of-control fire hose as Cena pokes his head out of a pile of bubbles like he’s Scooby-Doo), to non-jokes delivered as if they’re jokes and just hoping no one will notice (a child farting; every time Key pokes his head into the frame), to the truly inexplicable (the fire crew proudly, eagerly anticipating their dog mauling the children).
Why this isn’t a Dolph Lundgren vehicle being buried in Netflix’s catalogue is anyone’s guess, but instead it hits theaters this November. Awards season!
Still, gotta give credit for the balls in putting “0%” right there on the poster.
