Peeps will bring their unwanted Easter gift to the screen

Those colorful, amorphous little piles of largely-detested fluff are headed to theaters—presumably in a very similar form.

Deadline brings word that a Peeps movie, first put teased back in 2014, has been picked up by Wonder Street Entertainment. While the film was originally described as akin to then-recent hit The Lego Movie, it’s now being pitched as Trolls-meets-Smurfs. But, you know, with grotesque, melting blobs that only barely register as sort of looking like chicks. (Also molded rabbits that don’t really match the brand that well!)

It’s said the story “will follow a ragtag group of Peeps characters who set out on a cross-country journey in order to attend Peepsfest, an annual brand celebration in Pennsylvania,” which raises more questions than it answers. Like, we’re acknowledging that this takes place in our world, where Peeps is a brand of loosely-formed marshmallow animals we reluctantly consume, but those very animals are now alive and wish to celebrate their ephemeral existence?

Look, let me help you folks out; you’re over-complicating this. Just have the chicks and bunnies waging a jelly bean war for the Easter Grass Fields or whatever, and in the end, they become friends when they realize they’re all the same white goo on the inside. Also, during the credits, Christ comes back.

Please help these sad nobodies and: