Well, here’s how Disney’s strangely chaste Aladdin is looking
Yup. There it is, Will Smith.
From Entertainment Weekly, here’s our first look at what new Genie Will Smith is calling Disney’s “hip-hop flavor[ed]” Aladdin. It basically looks like the Broadway musical version, but now modest enough for even the most chaste of viewers.
Jasmine’s exposed midriff? Don’t worry: like a figure skater’s chest, it’s now covered in flesh-toned, bejeweled cloth! Aladdin’s bare chest? Now he wears Babe Ruth’s jersey beneath his vest. Even the Genie, once a broad-chested man wearing only a belt and arm bands, has become a never-nude who forgot to blue himself. He’s just Will Smith, fully covered in clothes and regrettable hair choices.
Anyway, Guy Ritchie directed this thing and must be kicking himself for blowing his edgy coin-stealing montage on King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. Aladdin hits theaters May 24.
Mena Massoud plays Aladdin. Will Smith plays the mono-dreadlocked homeless man ranting at passersby that the apocalypse draws near.SNL’s Nasim Pedrad plays confidant Dalia, the only one close enough to Naomi Scott’s Jasmine to tell her that she already forgot about Power Rangers.Aladdin squats weirdly in a failed attempt to hide his erection.Gone is the grotesque, long-faced Jafar of the past. Now, as played by Marwan Kenzari, Jafar is definitely going to be shipped with Aladdin in some erotic fan-fic.Jasmine attempts to avoid tipping the stairway attendant.Aladdin and Jasmine in a 25-minute scene detailing the rich history of fabric dying.Jasmine and Aladdin debate whether to get THIS guy’s lamp or the one from West Elm.You said it without even saying it, obviously CG monkey.
