Fast/Furious maintains its moronic pace in the F9 trailer

The Fast/Furious franchise is back, and no more or less ridiculously stupid than it’s been the last four or so films, in the latest inconsistently named entry, F9 (The Fast Saga).

This chapter sees Dom and his merry car lot addressing their incessant theme of family in the most direct way yet. The team’s latest unusually muscular foe? John Cena, a so-called master thief, assassin, and—of course—high-performance driver. And despite appearances, he’s also…

DOM’S BROTHER!!!!

Of course, with the ever dumber stakes ever rising for this gasoline and testosterone-fueled ride, that’s not the only soap opera twist.

Yet another person who died in one of these but not in real life has returned from the grave! Han’s back ‘n’ he’s snackin’.

The supposedly penultimate episode will reveal whether Han is actually an android now, and whether Roman keeps screaming because he’s possessed by an evil car spirit, when F9 hits theaters May 22.

Please help these sad nobodies and: