A Fistful of Dollars will now be a handful of television episodes

[visible skepticism]

Have you ever hoped an episodic tale of a wandering, gun-toting man with no name would get rid of the burdensome element of an infant Yoda? Good news!

Deadline brings word that Mark Gordon Pictures has scooped up the rights the 1964 Sergio Leone classic A Fistful of Dollars—as well as Akira Kurosawa’s Yojimbo, from which it pretty liberally cribbed—with intentions to adapt it into a series.

It’s said the show will pull from the source material to make “an original, contemporary retelling of the story,” but it’s not entirely clear how contemporary they’re talking. Like now the traveling guy trying to protect a town is some asshole in a t-shirt indiscriminately shooting people with an assault rifle he bought from Walmart?

Please help these sad nobodies and: