Disney faced some backlash for not anticipating the desire for The Mandalorian Baby Yoda merch, but they just made up for it: they’ve licensed a Baby Yoda some freak will definitely fuck.
Released by Sideshow Collectibles, “The Child” figure is life-size and looks as real as a basement-dwelling sociopath’s desire to enter it. It’s said it “measures 16.5” tall, standing on a simple black podium base,” which could all too easily be swapped out with some kind of Fleshlight or whatever. Any living monster will delight at the figure’s “charming wide eyes,” and how it’s “hiding the silver shift knob from the Razor Crest in its right hand” but won’t come close to hiding the 10-inch knob soon to be suctioned to its base.
“From the fuzz on its wrinkled head to its irresistible pout, all the way down to its tiny, toddling feet,” rest assured, Mandalorian fans that are also grotesque perverts, you will find some way to sexualize all of that!
Made of plastic, resin, and inevitably soiled cloth, the figure is expected for release—sweet, sweet release—this fall.
