John Mulaney is making a children’s variety show

Comeback Kid and Kid Gorgeous comedian John Mulaney’s “kid” fixation has finally reached its apex: a show with actual kids. A new Esquire profile of Mulaney has revealed that his next Netflix venture is a children’s variety show:

Mulaney, thirty-seven, is modeling the new special on the entertainment he loved growing up: 3-2-1 Contact, the eighties-era PBS after-school classic; Really Rosie, a 1980 musical by Maurice Sendak and Carole King; and, of course, Sesame Street. “It’s been on TV how many—fifty years?” Mulaney tells me later. He’s been rewatching old episodes recently, in thrall to their elastic approach to narrative. “It’s modular, fast-paced. Bizarrely paced,” he says. “They’ll cut to a kid who blows up a balloon, draws a smiley face on it, and pops it. Like, ‘Great, love it, moving on!’” With the new show, he wants to make something that will appeal to kids and adults alike. His thinking is twofold. “It’s something I’d like to watch,” he says. “And I don’t wanna do anything anyone else is doing.”

Jonah Weiner for Esquire

That sounds good, but which comedian is going to make the Netflix children’s special that keeps going on about how everyone’s too politically correct nowadays?

Please help these sad nobodies and: