Dakota Johnson to play your favorite Spider-Man character, Madame Web

Sony has decided on the latest Spider-Man-derived project they’ll pretend to make for a while, then either delay ad infinitum or just sort of forget about.

According to Deadline, the studio has set Dakota Johnson to star in Madame Web, a movie about that character: Madame Web. The folks love to see Madame Web, the blind psychic who guides the Spider-Men.

Jessica Jones and Succession helmer S.J. Clarkson is set to direct from a script by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless, the writers behind such woeful efforts as The Last Witch Hunter, Gods of Egypt, and the perpetually pushed-back Morbius. So if that thing bombs, we can probably toss this in with Silver & Black, Nightwatch, Spider-Woman, Kraven, and Silk among the “yeah, we’ll see, huh?” pile of Spider-Man-free Spider-Man spin-offs.

So, we’ll see, huh?

Please help these sad nobodies and: