The Book of Boba Fett Recap: Episode 4, “The Parking Garage/The Dinner Party”

Boba Costanza is finally done with his bath-time dreams.

It took four episodes of serialized slumber and a few episodes of The Mandalorian, but now every waking moment (and numerous sleeping moments) between Boba Fett getting knocked in a pit and The Book of Boba Fett’s A-story has been chronicled. No more dwelling on the Boba Past. Time to look to the Boba Fetture.

Well, in another half hour or so.

First, we’re headed back to the events of The Mandalorian’s fifth episode—now from Boba’s perspective. Boba sees a blast in the distance and finds Fennec—thought dead by Mando—only almost dead. There’s still time to get her to a doct—oh, nope… a cyberpunk vision of the ‘90s?

The two pull up to this little place where a cool guy with bleached dreads does the sort of cybernetic body mods we saw were so popular with the youth last episode. Boba is like, “Hurry, there’s just time to save her if you give her a robot belly! Here’s one of those sacks of coins I’m always pulling out of somewhere.”

The guy gets to work on making Fennec a cyborg in a too-long sequence backed by this garbage techno temp track. This is Star Wars by way of Hackers, but not as cool as that actually sounds.

So she’s fine now, and Boba says how he doesn’t want her to repay him with money; he wants her to help get his spaceship back. He left it parked in Jabba’s garage, and apparently no one has bothered selling or moving it over the last five years since Return of the Jedi.

Fennec suggests just asking sitting daimyo Bib Fortuna to pop in there and get the ship back, and Boba is seriously like, “I’m afraid he’ll say no because I don’t have my cool-looking armor anymore.” He’s not even going to try asking about it. He insists they bust in and steal it back.

The next day, they do some recon work, figure out they’d better sneak in through a sewer or something, and we’re on to our second of three expository fireside chats.

“I’m gonna kill that bloated pig who double-crossed me,” Boba says. “Take his throne.”

Firstly, Boba didn’t even know Bib had taken over, so how does he know that he’s bloated with the famous “daimyo dozens”? (The dozens of pounds one notoriously gains as a Tatooine crime lord.)

But that petty grievance aside, what is he even on about? “Double-crossed?” Bib’s not the guy who knocked you into the sarlacc pit, bud. Boba was too afraid to ask for his ship back, and now he’s on-the-spot invented this backstory in his head where he’s been thoroughly wronged. And he wants to be our daimyo? Indeed he does.

“You wanna head a Gotra?” Fennec asks.

“Why not,” he replies.

And that about sums it up, huh?

The man with no crew, no criminal empire, no ambitions beyond getting his ship and costume back, and no plan. Now we know why this man wants to be the big kingpin. “Why not?”

This guy is such a dolt, and it only gets worse.

Night finally falls, and it looks like dogshit. Disney has become infamous for its frequently flat lighting and colors across its big franchise titles. You know what happens when you darken that? You can’t even see what’s happening and the screen becomes a black mirror. With your screen near any light at all, you’re forced to stare at your own ugly mug instead of Boba’s. Wretched.

So they sneak in through this grate or whatever and find themselves in the kitchen. They immediately destroy the droid cooking staff that were just there doing their jobs. That knife-wielding droid may have trained across the galaxy to become a private chef for such a wealthy client, and now his career is over because Boba didn’t want to knock on the door.

A little goblin of a droid also ends up accidentally getting himself involved and finally captured. Boba gets it by the throat and puts it against a wall.

“Do you know who I am!?”

It shakes its head, whimpering.

“I am Boba Fett!”

Like, what are you trying to prove here, man? You think this little Dobby-looking robot is impressed by this? No one knows who you are or what you’re talking about. Go get your ride and shut up.

Boba and Fennec finally do locate the ship, and all the guards they were trying to stealth past just immediately turn up and start blasting. That didn’t work at all, guys!

A firefight breaks out, but the pair make it on board the Fire-whatever the ship is called. Then, instead of getting out of there, Boba just hovers his craft and slowly, clumsily rotates it, crashing into all sorts of shit.

It’s not long at all before Fennec rightfully asks, “What the hell are you doing?”

“We need to get the gate open, but I can’t see a thing!”

For as much as Boba loves his irreplaceable ship, it’s here we really get a spotlight on its biggest design flaw. It parks on its back thrusters, so to get in the cockpit, you have to awkwardly crawl into a vertically-facing seat. Boba literally can’t see where he’s supposed to go because he’s stuck staring at a garage ceiling. What a ship!

They finally escape, and Boba is like, “I need to fix up this horribly-designed ship I just beat the shit out of.”

Fennec suggests getting it repaired in Mos Eisley with a, you know, mechanic.

He refuses, saying, “There’s an advantage to people thinking you’re dead.” This from a guy who can’t even throttle a little droid without insisting on dropping his name.

He also says he’s got a score to settle, and indeed he does. When his adoptive Tusken tribe was wiped out by a biker gang last episode, we knew vengeance was coming. But kudos to Boba for having a workmanlike efficiency about it.

Turns out, taking out those jerks is not even an issue. Just as with Earth’s own biker gangs, flying over them in a sort of fighter jet and indiscriminately shooting takes care of them incredibly quickly. So that beef’s squashed.

On to the next mission: getting that Mandalorian armor back.

There’s a hiccup with this plan, too, though: Boba thinks he must have taken off the armor before climbing out of the sarlacc. He says how the acid-impervious beskar metal is what saved him, but for some reason he’s really confident that he somehow stripped it all off before getting out of there. This guy’s brain…

And, again, it only gets worse.

The two fly over to the pit, Boba points the cockpit down into its stygian depths, and for the second time in five minutes, he groans, “I can’t see a thing.”

This time it is not a ship design flaw. Boba Fett has forgotten about headlights.

After a pregnant several seconds, he wordlessly flips them on.

Now able to see, he finds bad news: the sarlacc is still alive.

The creature lunges up and wraps its tendrils onto the ship. Boba responds by doing nothing but grimacing and pulling back on the stick.

“Shoot it!” Fennec suggests. Boba has forgotten about guns.

Reminded, he fires, but the blasters aren’t enough for a creature of this size. He’ll need something bigger, more powerful. Has Boba forgotten about bombs?

(He has.)

But Fennec hasn’t. Maneuvering herself to an out-of-the-way switch—it’s becoming increasingly apparent just how bungled this vessel’s design is—she flips it. A bomb drops into the sarlacc’s waiting mouth.

“Fire in the hole,” she dryly quips with a smug smirk. Yeah, good one. Never heard that before.

The charge explodes, and a ripple spreads across the desert sands. One less sarlacc to worry about being tossed into as a crime lord’s murder ceremony.

“Next time, don’t touch my buttons,” Boba grumbles, not even willing to look at Fennec.

This guy’s terrible driving and complete inability to recall his spaceship’s basic functions have nearly killed them twice since he got back in the cockpit, and now he’s going to get all huffy about being helped out.

Real talk: Does Boba Fett have dementia?

Either way, he’s at least able to recall enough to finally get us back to where we started with the teaser postscript of The Mandalorian’s second season. Boba’s dreamed memories have come full circle, and Jon Favreau cannot wait a second to write the whole sleeping-in-a-tub mechanic out of the show.

As soon as Boba awakens, a little droid whirrs over to announce, “Congratulations, Master Fett. You are completely healed.” Time to get those burly pigs to take the tank to the curb.

Fennec enters and says not to worry about searching for the missing mayor they’ve been wanting to interrogate: the Mods are on it. Yes, the modded street toughs who also bite from the UK’s ‘60s mod culture are actually called “Mods.” It’s a pun. And there are three more episodes of this!

Boba nonetheless thinks he should show his face around town, so that night, he heads off to Jennifer Beals’ Sanctuary Bar & Grill. The Wookiee guy is already there, and he’s causing a real ruckus. He’s a few deep, and you can tell he’s an angry drunk, because he’s beating the shit out of some guys with his signature move: ignoring his constantly-showcased electro-knuckles and just heaving them around. The only actual political position Boba has stated as a daimyo is that he’ll keep peace in the streets, but apparently that’s limited to the literal streets, because he just stands there, bemused, watching this sasquatch massacre.

Beals pleads for Wookiee to be peaceful, but he still ends up tearing one dude’s arm out. Boba sees this and somehow thinks, “Now this is the sort of level-headed guy that could enforce my asserted brand of respectful conflict resolution.” Wookiee has joined the party.

Now one thing about Boba Fett is that he loves to entertain. He is at his best at a table, surrounded by food, family, friends—and maybe a little bit of wine. So he decides to have all his fellow mob bosses over for a little dinner party.

They’re all gathered at the table when Boba and his charming co-host confess they have an ulterior motive for this meeting of disgusting-looking freaks. Boba is like, “Look, so I basically just have two pig-men, a Chewbacca, and a pun-based scooter gang working for me. But you know how you guys have whole armies? Well, what I propose is that you guys use all your armies to fight those incoming fish-men, scare them off, and then I would obviously get to be the daimyo, because dibs.”

One of these guys, Meth-Head Grinch, asks a valid question, which is basically, “Sorry, why would we do that?”

🎵 You’re a rottennnnnn 🎵 Meth-Head Grinch! 🎵

Boba, ever the master negotiator, proposes a new offer: “Alright, new plan then: I will just try to sort out the fish guys entirely myself, and in return, I would ask that you please not actively betray me.”

There’s alien muttering around the table, roughly translating to, “I mean, I guess. If we don’t have to do anything, who cares? Can always betray later. That’s the beauty of betrayal.”

It’s settled, and Meth-Head Grinch announces, “I abide.” They all raise a glass to this not-even-deal.

The previous episode ended with Boba and Fennec declaring they were going to war, and because nothing of any significance has happened since, this episode closes there too—right back where we started.

With one addition, that is. Now Fennec proposes what seems like an obvious solution to their crew’s shallow bench, explaining to Boba Fett, a bounty hunter, that “credits can buy muscle.”

Someone please get this old man’s mush brain checked out.

Please help these sad nobodies and: