World’s Greatest Detective solves world’s easiest riddle in new The Batman trailer

Kiss. KISS!

“It can be cruel, poetic, or blind,” Paul Dano’s Riddler teases in this new trailer for The Batman. “But when it’s denied, it’s violence you may find.”

“Justice. The answer is justice,” Robert Pattinson’s Batman responds, sadly too proud of himself. Of course it’s justice, Batman. Everyone immediately figured out it was justice. This was clearly a rhetorical riddle just meant to justify the violence, and you honestly look pretty daft answering it so earnestly.

And then Riddler calls him out on how he’s not so smart to not know how his family is involved in things? Plus we’ve got Zoë Kravitz’s Catwoman calling him “Vengeance,” completely mocking Batman’s “I am vegeance” shtick from the first teaser. This is a Batman unlike any we’ve seen before—in that he is constantly getting served. Bruce Wayne may be able to beat these villains up, but he cannot block their dunks. The post-credits sequence will have Joker rasp, “Why such ’90s hair…?” And, over a song by The Cure, Bruce is gonna cry. Hard. Batman is a huffy, melodramatic drama queen—not a verbal tactician—and they are hitting him where it hurts.

We can’t wait to see Batman wipe off his emo eye-shadow with his salty tears when The Batman hits theaters March 4.

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